I being the younger one of two kids was more pampered
and adored. I was my mom’s tail, used to go everywhere she went. She was a post
graduate but my dad did not allow her to do B. ED, if she would have done it,
she must have got chance in government school and had earned nice salary. But
men and their egos! Then we were born so she preferred to be the full time
devoted mother. She had plans to work later and for that she wanted to learn
some courses. She had few savings and registered for different courses like ice
cream, baking, food preservation, fabric painting, beautician, mehndi in a
courses academy. I used to go with her; I was an all time companion for mom.
Dad’s office and our school was going on smoothly,
we were more independent, those days were over when mom and dad had to sit with
their kids and make them study, it was more a need based support now and tusharika
was there to help me. Mom was getting free time and she felt that it’s time to
do something on her own. She had found new friends now. One evening while
having tea together the five ladies thought out a plan to start some small
business. My mom knew recipes for food preservation items like jam, jelly,
sauce, pickles and other such things and everyone were house wives who had
ample knowledge and experience of cooking, so with minimal investments they
started this venture. Initially they took small samples and distributed to the
neighbourhood and friends and relatives, later when everyone liked the items
they started taking orders and preparing them and selling. From our school also
we were getting few orders. It was little embarrassing for me because few of my
friends used to tease me that she sells of things in school, but few teachers
also took from us so that was not a problem. It was flourishing not in a huge
way but the ladies were earning some profit and lot of confidence. As more
orders started to came it became hectic for them because work was more and
hands were less and then my dad got the government quarters so we had to leave
the rented house. We shifted to the new house. That was very near to my school.
But it became difficult for mom to manage the business from far, daily travel
was not possible anymore. Since the mastermind behind this idea was far now,
orders by customers and seriousness of ladies, both reduced and finally this
business was dropped. Mom was not upset because for her we were more important,
our school was near, dad’s office was near, it was the posh area of Raipur so
she was happy to leave that place. In that rented house our studies was
impacted because there were many kids around and they were not studious kids,
playing and roaming around was their forte. We, being with them were also
becoming notourious so for our future, sacrifice of the business did not have
importance.
Mom was not the one to sit idle at home. Bengali
cotton sarees is always in demand and she started of getting the sarees from
Kolkata and selling it of here. But she was not satisfied with this. Then with
my uncle’s help she got a sign board prepared “Hobby Classes : Icecream,
Baking, Food Preservation, Fabric Paint, Beautician, Music”. It started off
slowly. She ran these classes in delhi also but not in full fledge way, few
ladies when told together she did for them. But now she was doing in a proper
way. Those were nice days. Continuous batches were there and maximum were for
ice creams, one batch started and when they liked it they referred to others
and so one by one many people did. It was tiring for her, continuously talking,
teaching them, she prepared yummy ice creams, casata, tuty fruity, coffee ice
creams. So many times she had to stir the batter, every few hours because the
next day everyone will be tasting it so it had to be the best. In our house
jams and sauce and pickles were never brought from outside, she used to prepare
everything at home. Cakes and biscuits also she prepared. She was earning well.
With that money slowly and slowly she was buying few things and doing small
enhancements for business. She learnt different styles of painting like golden
grass, glass painting, ceramic work. She learnt making soft toys also. By this
time di was grown up, she helped mom in various things. She was a trained
classical singer and my sis was classical dancer so she also started few
batches. There was a time when the whole day there used to be some batch going
at home. Our house was full of people. That was a creative phase of our life.
This rush was more during school summer vacations.
She was interested in teaching so one day one of my
aunts who was teacher called her up and told that in a nearby pre primary
school there is a opening for a teacher, if she is interested she can go with
her and join the school. She went and accepted the teachership offer, her
salary was 500 rupees. Because of her school she reduced the hobby classes. Dad
did not like her joining the school and he did not talk to her for many days
but mom was determined this time. She knew what she wanted to do. She struggled
a lot to save each and every penny. School was four kms and rickshaw used to
take 5 rupees each way. To save 10 rupees daily she used to walk from home to
school and back. Two months in a year she used to run the classes which were on
full bloom and the rest ten months she was busy with school. It was a pre
primary school so smalls kids were there, and mom loved them all, they used to
get flowers for her. Chocolates were common. After two years she left the
school and joined another, she was a PG in economics and in the new school she
was hired for economics and commerce and accounts for a salary of 1200 rupees.
She was favorite teacher of the students and gained reputation among all the
students and teachers. She also started getting tuitions. Dad helped her with
accounts. She was happy and she reached where she wanted to reach. She did
network marketing also for sometime. After six years she left that school as
well and joined another school and here she was paid 2500 bucks.
When man in the house earns the necessary expenses
are done but if woman of the house earns then that money is spend for luxury
and investments. She gave Kodak camera, a thousand bucks gift to my sister on
her eighteenth birthday. My dad’s mom did not wear any jewellery so she got
bangles and chain for her. Di was in college and mom wanted her college going
daughter to wear a chain and ring, so she got those for her.
Dad was cool with government quarter but mom wanted
own house. Previously also many a times she tried and booked but everything in
vain because dad used to spend the money. She was not earning that time so she
could not do anything but now she wanted to do. When mom and dad got married my
grand pa(mom’s dad) gave her a plot which was worth five thousand then. She
sold off this plot and earned 25000 now and with this amount she with my uncle
bought another plot in Raipur. That area was not developed so they decided to
not make the house there. She wanted another plot for house. She with her savings
bought another one in a nearby area for 44000 bucks. Now it was time for mom to
push dad and built our own house in that plot. Dad was least bothered, he
trusted people easily, he used to give money to the contractor without
receipts. Whenever mom forced dad to see and supervise the construction, there
used to be fight between them and days of silence. After four long years, after
lot of struggle and pains our house was completed,and we did house warming
ceremony. Dad took a bank loan for the house. Those days for loans person had
to go to the bank so many times for loan sanctioning and dispersement. Not like
now when you get phone calls atleast 5 times a day to take money from banks.
She stopped taking hobby classes now and was fully
into teaching and tuitions. Our house was rented to a family. We did not move
to that house because my school was near to the quarter, we waited till my 12th
class. I completed my schooling and di completed her graduation and post
graduation and then we moved to our house. Moving to own house makes a lot of
difference, quarter was a normal 2BHK but this one was huge. This was the time
for competitive exams, every weekend I had some or other exam. I was selected
for architecture in himachal Pradesh, but it was very far and would prove
costly also so finally ended up in joining a private engineering college in
Raipur itself.
New house, new friends, new life started. Di joined
the college where she did her PG and mom continued her school. Days were fine
but then dad got transferred to a nearby place, it was a journey of 3 hours
from Raipur, to travel daily was not something which we wanted. He with his
friend took a house on rent and used to come on weekends. They had to stay for
atleast a year before getting transferred back to raipur. We three were in
Raipur. Daily sis used to go college, she was like Chachi 420, wearing sari and
going in luna. She never left on time, just before five minutes she will leave
and after full speed driving she will reach college. She with her salary bought a kinetic zing. In
our lane of the layout ours was the only house and beside to us construction
was going. Labourers who were constructing stayed there. We being three ladies
alone at home were scared, so in one room only we all used to sleep, I on bed
and di and mom on floor. Di had a stick on her side and mom had red chilli
powder on her side. I being the younger one had no such responsibilities.
Nothing happened anytime it was just a safety measure. That year mom and dad’s
had their 25th wedding anniversary as well. I was studying so did
not contribute much, sis saved money and we celebrated nicely. We booked a
hotel and gave dinner party for around 100 guests. Mom told, in her wedding
reception she did not get these many gifts as she got now. We were all happy.
One year passed by and dad got transferred back to
Raipur. We thought to construct the first floor next. We started, construction
minimum takes 3-4 months and by the time it started and finishing things were
going, it was time for my 3rd semester finals. Papers started and
dad used to be in office, sis was more involved in college. I and mom stayed at
home and were responsible for the complete construction. Giving the labours
water, storing water for construction, I went to order cement also once and
when the “thela” for cement came I kept down the books and went to push it
through road because those people were shouting. Dad came back now di was going
to Pune for CDAC. She left from home for the first time and mom was very sad, I
was the sole companion for her now.
All of mom’s exertions and hard work showed their
real face now. Day by day mom started suffering from several health problems.I
was in 6th sememster of college. Mom went through a very tough time. She had a
cist in her stomach for which she was suffereing from severe pain in her
stomachache and fever. Check up was done and she was under medication for a
month and after that doctors had to decide whether they need to operate her or
not. But situation got worse when x-ray was done and the size of the cist just
doubled. Doctors had given the wrong medicine. Next day they took her for
operation. After cutting the stomach they told her to go for scanning. I was in
college. I had cell, I called up dad and asked about the operation, but then he
told that they have gone for scanning. The doctor who had scanned told mom and
dad that you want to survive just leave now only for some better doctor and
hospital. My mom decided that we will leave for Ahmedabad where my masi stayed.
Meanwhile dad scanned all her reports and sent them to my uncle and they were
searching for doctor there. Di was in Pune that time and so we did tatkaal
tickets for three of us and left for ahmedabad. I was in shock. Did not know
what will happen next. Mom was not at all well. In the entire journey she was
just lying down. We reached our destination. Did not know what this place has
for us. We went for check up to the doctor who was very famous gynaecologist.
She went through her case history, did her scanning and told us clearly that
the cist is very big and also since the infection has spread so it might be
cancererous. She was not sure but she was preparing us. She asked us when can
go for the operation. My mom told as soon as possible. After hearing cancer I
was almost crying, everyone else was scared but mom was so brave and
courageous. Doctor gave us the date for operation and told us told us to get
her admitted a night before the operation. Hospital was good and costly. Thank
god dad had a credit card, we had to pay 70K before then only they admitted
her. They had to do few tests and so a nurse came with a syringe and took blood
in it. Tears came in my eyes when I saw them injecting mom with needle and
taking her blood. I was sad because of her condition and for the pain she had
to go through. The ward where she was shifted was cancer department, all cancer
patients were there. For few days some or other test was done and doctors used
to discuss her case, I could not understand everything but could make out that
they are predicting it to be cancer. For so many nights at home I could not
sleep, I used to cry and tell god to please make her well, cure her problems.
So many kids were there in the floor where mom was there, there head was
covered, they were going through chemotherapy. I felt that god is so unfair,
why does he make such innocent people suffer.
It was the operation day and I went to the hospital
morning only. Di came from Pune as well. They took mom for operation and while
going doctor told that if they come out of the OT in an hour that means cancer
is there and we have to start chemotherapy but if it takes longer then it means
that cancer is not there. Operation was complicated because the cist was tied
between different nerves. That day I was just praying to god that they come out
of the OT late so that would mean no cancer. I and di were in home. I was
calling dad every half an hour and wanted to hear from him that she is still in
OT. Mom was out of the theatre after six hours, she was very weak. Doctors told
that operation was successful, it was tough but they were finally able to take
the cist out. She was brought to the room. Doctor came and checked and told
that since my mom used to do lot of yoga, her kidney, liver and other parts
were fine and there was no such complication from other parts. She needed bed
rest and was there in hospital for around ten days. She needed complete rest
and required six months to recover fully. Mom says that she was worried about
me, because if anything happens to her then dad will be fine, di was also more
mature and was working and settled but I was studying, she prayed to god to
keep her alive because I was young and not settled. God answered both of our
prayers.
Life settled a little because from the time we came
to ahmedabad everyone was disturbed, everything was uncertain, we were only
roaming around hospitals and doctors, we were praying and going to different
temples. Now mom was fine so that mental tension and worries were not there.
Morning till evening I used to be there in hospital and from evening to morning
dad used to be there. I used to take some snack in hospital. Dad once gave me
100 bucks, with that money I used to have idly daily, for 9 rupees they gave 2
idlys. After few days mom asked that I did not ask for money for so many days,
then I told that I have, dad then realized that long back he gave me 100 bucks
and by this time that money should have been finished, then they asked what I
was having, I had to tell that I was having idly for last few days, she asked
dad to pay me more and ordered me to have something else. Home food was not
allowed in hospital so dad used to bring food from masi’s home and I took that
food sitting in the parking area keeping a newspaper on the floor and sitting
on that I had lunch for so many days. I had my six semester final exams after a
month and so I had to study, I had taken few books with myself and studied in
hospital in the room. I had to leave from ahmedabad because I had to take my
admit card from college. Mom was recovering slowly and she could not travel and
also she had to wait for a month there only because of few more checkups. I
could not go alone. After mom was discharged, we got her back to masi’s home
and she was to stay there for another month. Dad got all medicines, dry fruits
and different food supplements for her and kept in her room. She could not get
up herself or do anything by herself. We stayed for few more days so that
atleast she gets used to this routine. Dad got the tickets and we left from
there. Mom came to the balcony to bid bye to us. I was again crying in the
auto. For another month she had to be there and none of us will be with her.
Relative’s house is after all relative’s house and not yours. You cannot be
free and follow your routine.
We reached and called her up and then came to know
that has got high fever. For another four days we were in so much tension, very
very high fever, temperature was not coming down at all. Doctors gave medicine
but that was also of no use. We could not go back and my college was also
important. When there is question of life a well educated man also turns to
various other ways which initially he thought to be nonsense. Masi’s maid told
that nazar lag gayi hai, so she did something with water and bowl, don’t know what
it was but mom’s fever came down, it was coincidence or really the result of
that we were not sure. My dad who never lights an incense stick, was going to a
famous far off temple by walk, he said that he will go for seven times by walk
if mom gets fine. I had an old habit of bribing god with one coconut and this
time I bribed many gods. All is well that ends well. Mom was fine now fever was
not there anymore. I was physically not there with my mom and mentally there
only, I was not able to concentrate on my studies. Now I had no option than to
focus for my semester. Mom was recovering, no cist no fever, she had reduced
lot of weight. They went for checkup and doctor told she is fine but it will
take some time to recover and get back to her original shape. I stayed alone
with my dad for 36 days, I was cooking that time. Thankfully in that semester I
had only one paper a week, so I had ample time to study and my uncle was also
coming to india, he planned to visit mom and then take her with him and come to
our place so dad need not go to pick her up. I was counting days when she will
come.
Finally the day came, I went with dad to pick them
up, I saw her standing in station, I hugged her, she was very weak, but I was
happy that her internal problems are not there anymore and I will take good
care of her. We went home and days passed by. I dad did everything for her, we
were happy to see her back to what she was before. My exams started and among
all my semesters I scored highest percentile in that semester. I was so happy,
we all were happy, it was tough period of our life. But I learnt one thing that
these turbulent times bring out the best of you. Tough times bring family
closer to each other.
Good times were coming now. In sixth semester I got
selected in campus. I had job before completing my engineering. Mom and dad
were proud of me. The day I got selected, my dad sat on sofa and took the phone
and called up all his friends and told that I am selected in campus. Mom gave
party in her school. Di treated her friends in Pune. Di got a job by this time
and was working in a mnc. First floor was also completed and was on rent.
For my and my sister’s all major decisions were
taken by mom. She was very clear that she will educate both her daughters and
make them independent and then only she will get them married. My sister was a
step ahead, she wanted to go to onsite on her own and then only she will get
married and she was strictly against of arrange marriage. She did not want
arrange marriage at all. There was no restriction as such for any of us. Dad
always worked in air conditioned office so mom always dreamt of us working in a
sophisticated environment.
For our school also while in class 11th ,
for choosing subject she came with us and made us choose mathematics. For that
coching classes were required and mom gathered information about different
coaching classes and did our admission there. Apart from studies for extra
curricular activities also mom was very eager and wanted us to learn different
arts. When my sis was in class 1st, she admitted her in dance class
and made her learn for eight years when we were in delhi. She made her karate
as well. After coming to Raipur she admitted me in music class. I learned for 2
years then for 3rd year she gave the fees but I did not go, I did
not like the teacher so left. She was very upset. Again after 1 year I took
admission and learnt for another 2 years. But could not complete 6 years
because I had board exams in between so learnt for only 4 years. Mom regretted
always that I could not completed my music course.
Di already left and it was time for me to leave
now. I had to join the company. There was a five months gap after my final 8
semester exam and joining the job. In those months I was crazy myself and
making everyone else as crazy as me. In those months I used to go for movies
with mom, go for shopping, I helped her in house works, I experimented a lot
with my cooking skills and go to different places. I already got the offer
letter but did not get the actual call and date. Got it just before two months
of joining and became tension free after that. Uncertainties create confusions.
After I got the date, we booked the tickets and on the date left for mysore
with all the bag and baggage. Mom and dad came to drop me. When your parents
are with you and they know that from next day morning you wont be with them,
they get anxious, they get sad but they are not left with any option because
they know that kid is leaving for their better future, it is for the good of
their child, they get upset but cannot show that, they feel that it will weaken
the kid’s excitement. They do not know what they do or say, they become sad.
They become crazy. And after you leave they cry silently but hide from you.
They dropped me and came back to Raipur. They were
alone now. Out of four now only two people are there. Once you join the job you
come home as a guest. I completed my training and was posted to Bhubaneswar.
For two years I was there and every month I used to go home. Then I got married
and frequency was less but thankfully you have something called mobile now
because of that I am always in touch with mom and dad. I am just a phone call
away from them. Skype and mobile are the greatest technologies if you want to
stay connected. We do video chatting and every day we talk atleast twice.
Marriage has not changed my life atleast in this aspect. My relation and
friendship is still the same infact more close.
Responsibility of a woman as a mother never ends.
No matter how old you are it is your mom only who asks you that whether you
have taken your breakfast, lunch dinner, yes she will enquire about all your
meals. She is the most worried if you are not well. Mother first is a teacher,
then a friend and when you get married she becomes your inspirer and guide, and
when the daughter herself becomes mother then she spends again many sleepless
nights like the time when daughter were born.
When di was expecting she went through many
complications and mom was there with her to take care. From morning till
evening she was with sis, she was admitted for few days, mom stayed in
hospital. Mom herself got fever but she did not regret, for initial few days
when a baby is born it is very tough time for both mom and baby, both need
extra care and mom did everything possible for her without thinking of her own
health. Now she is behind me to conceive and deliver. Before 30 I should
deliver because for few more years only she will have that strength to care for
me and my baby as she can do now. She always says one thing that you will come
to know when you will be a mother yourself.
HATS OFF to all the mommys, I salute your strength,
your vigor, your courage, your love, your affection and you. You are above all.
