Does this heading sound weird?
Even I used to feel the same. But still this phrase “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” is
applicable to the society, atleast for the Indian society which till date, follows
a male dominating culture.
We are basically confused ladies.
We don’t know what the terms: domestic violence or dowry or verbal abuse
actually refers. We consider all these not to be a part of civilized society
and look down to those who have gone through these; we talk about these and
very proudly say that we will never tolerate such things; we feel that these
are a part of so called “chawls” or of those people who are below poverty line.
We feel that such things cannot happen to us even if is happening. But is this
the fact? Have none of the modern day “independent” women experienced this
trauma.
We might be tortured at home but
we hide our tears behind eyeliners and kajal; we hide our cries behind the
sweet smile of lips, lips having lipstick on it so that people see the lipstick
colour but not recognize the fake smile; we hide the bruises by covering them
behind sophisticated clothes and accessories. In short we hide the truth from
society and from our own self. If we go through this kind of torture, we feel
shame; we don’t want others to know about this. My question is why? Just because
we feel that others will form a bad impression for us but honestly by doing
this we are creating an impression of ourselves that what happened to us is
somehow our mistake, we are ourselves taking the blame for a mistake which we
have not done.
I read an article in internet and
came to this conclusion of 5 points:
ü There
is no better or worse of domestic violence. Remember, attempt to murder is also
a crime. Don’t think that physical assault has to be tolerated until you are murdered.
A slap or somebody trying to slap is equivalent.
ü If
something can happen once, it can happen twice or thrice as well. Don’t keep
forgiving and forgetting.
ü No
torture, in demand for you to become passive, is acceptable. Making financially
dependent, unable to meet and talk to friends and family, cannot decide
anything for yourself… are all a kind of torture. If someone takes away your
hands and then says that they won’t torture you in return of this…. Is all
crap.
ü Staying
alive is better than staying married.
ü Tolerate
the torture just because it is not physical, it is only verbal… is not done.
Whatever it is, verbally abusing and insulting is not acceptable. No one has
any rights to harm you physically, mentally or emotionally. Verbal abuses hurt
you emotionally and destroy your inner self. It takes away your self
confidence.
Domestic violence has nothing to
do with social status; it is based upon an individual’s mindset. This kind of
torture can happen to anyone from a maid to a software engineer to wife of a
CEO. You have to draw a line between what is considered torture and what is
normal, you have to set a limit for your patience; you have to take a stand and
not backseat for yourself.
At the end of the day, just
remember
ü You
deserve to be happy, you have all rights to live the life in your own way
ü You
don’t have to sacrifice your life at the cost of continuing in a loveless
marriage.
ü All
relationships in this world are based on a give and take policy except from the
mother and child relationship.
ü Don’t
let anyone take you for granted and by default.
ü Love
can be selfless but respect is mutual.
Please read this article and call
for help in case of need from your family, friends and neighbour. Take the
charge and control of your life and fight back.
